Balancing parenting and academics?

Parenting is a full time gig…throw academics in the mix, and it’s easy to feel pulled in every direction. Ask yourself these six questions to find out if you are cohesively incorporating your academics and family or if they are two competing obligations.

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1. Am I Prioritizing?  

Developing a list of your tasks and responsibilities and understanding the value of each can help you to better plan. 

Of course, your children are the top priority, but let’s first look at other responsibilities. Have you looked at each of your non-academic responsibilities with a fine tooth comb and asked yourself, “Is this a responsibility I can put on the back burner”? and “If this doesn’t get done, what will happen?” Something has to give!

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2. Can I be more efficient?

Notice that the question doesn’t ask “Can I be efficient?” You’re a parent, you’re a student – you’re pretty much a super hero! But, let’s really dig deep here to figure out if you can save more time.

When it comes to academic tasks, be specific with what you’ll accomplish. Perhaps you focus on academics for 1-2 hours and set a goal of what you want to accomplish during this time (ie. introduction of your paper).

When it comes to non-academic tasks, reflect on what you can do on a daily/weekly basis that would save you time in the long run. Perhaps it’s meal prep, answering emails at a designated time each day, tackling errands based on location, or my personal favourite: clean as you go.

I’m reminded of my Production Operations Management course in my undergraduate degree in which we learned that racecars are in and out of a pit stop in under 10 seconds. This is an extreme example but talk about efficiency!

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3. Are you incorporating meaningful activities to help you feel balanced?

Meaningful activities stem from your life values – areas in life that are most important to you.  Reflecting first on your life values and incorporating activities to meet those values will help you feel balanced.   

For example:

What do you do daily/weekly to ensure family time (ie. read books before bed, picnic every Saturday …)?

What do you do monthly to ensure family time (ie. games night, visit the Rothney Observatory ….)? 

Now, incorporate two life values at a time - Go on a hike (physical wellness) with the kids (family time)!

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4. Am I following a Schedule?

Attending university and managing a family means you have a lot to remember, so relying solely on memory can be overwhelming.

Grab that agenda and write in your fixed tasks (class times, work, appointments, children’s activities …). Then, add your non-fixed tasks (study time, house cleaning, errands, family time ….) outside of these fixed times. Try to make the most efficient schedule that works for you and your family.

Perhaps you work on a paper every morning before your kids wake up or after you put them down for bed. If they are in school, maybe you all do homework for an hour each evening – talk about tackling two life values at one time (family time and academics)!

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5. Am I aware of my mindset?

Being present is a wonderful ability. Congratulations if you are able to avoid carrying over your academic frustrations to your home life. Dr. Adam Fraser’s TED talk is an awesome video that shows us how to practice to be the best version of ourselves. You’ll also have a few good chuckles! Our mindset is up to us!

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6. Do I have a support network?

Last but not least:  It can be difficult to ask for help. Often two thought-processes occur that create barriers to establishing a support network:  we worry that relying on someone else means we can’t handle what we’ve taken on, or we reject support when we feel it’s easier to just do the job ourselves. Allow yourself to recognize that yes, you can do it all, BUT you’d be a much happier person if you had support!  Let this sink in - I can do it all, BUT I’d be a much happier person if I had support!  Pick your support network and pick wisely!

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To learn about balancing academics and parenting, book an appointment with an Academic Development Specialist or Academic Strategist in the Student Success Centre – we would be happy to be part of your support network!